I think Micah is working on some kind of Mother's Day project for me. He had a pen & paper & was busy asking me all kinds of questions the other night. They were mostly along the lines of my favorite color & favorite food. I've been thinking a lot since then. Like lets say that someday he gets married & has his own kids, but for some reason I was gone already. What is one thing I would really like him to know about me? Or what kind of parental advice would I wish I'd have given? I do hope I have lots of parenting years ahead of me. I also realize that my advice will change a bit through the years. However, when I look back to my early parenting years I feel regretful of how much effort I put into being a perfect parent.
Micah was a textbook perfect baby. He was so sweet & happy. He napped well on his own. He slept through the night. When he got a bit older he mostly did what I told him. Even potty training him was fairly fast & easy. So you see I thought I was actually accomplishing perfect parenting or something close to it anyway.
Then I got pregnant with Ayla. I should have realized as I spent most of my time either puking or sleeping that things weren't going to be quite the same the second time around. You really think I'd have realized it when she came a whole 4 weeks early with a few complications. However, it really didn't start dawning on me until a week later when she got to come home. This baby cried all the time. This baby did not sleep. This baby had to be held all the time. This baby didn't do anything the way I thought she should. I was still trying to be the perfect parent with the perfect house & life. I kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, because there had to be some way to "fix" things.
The sad fact is that I can barely remember anything about Ayla before 9 months of age. It took me that long to really bond with her. When she was 9 months old I finally read this book when my dear sister-in-law mailed it to me. Then I finished up this program that I had started when I was first pregnant with Ayla.
Finally I had an epiphany. I was not choosing my daughter & my life as it was. I was resisting everything that actually was because it didn't fit into the "perfect" life I had imagined. So to make a long story short (too late) my biggest piece of parenting advice would be to enjoy what is while it is, because life flys by far too fast. Also, there is no one way to be a good parent (perfect is an impossibility). What advice do you want to leave your kids with?
Micah was a textbook perfect baby. He was so sweet & happy. He napped well on his own. He slept through the night. When he got a bit older he mostly did what I told him. Even potty training him was fairly fast & easy. So you see I thought I was actually accomplishing perfect parenting or something close to it anyway.
Then I got pregnant with Ayla. I should have realized as I spent most of my time either puking or sleeping that things weren't going to be quite the same the second time around. You really think I'd have realized it when she came a whole 4 weeks early with a few complications. However, it really didn't start dawning on me until a week later when she got to come home. This baby cried all the time. This baby did not sleep. This baby had to be held all the time. This baby didn't do anything the way I thought she should. I was still trying to be the perfect parent with the perfect house & life. I kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, because there had to be some way to "fix" things.
The sad fact is that I can barely remember anything about Ayla before 9 months of age. It took me that long to really bond with her. When she was 9 months old I finally read this book when my dear sister-in-law mailed it to me. Then I finished up this program that I had started when I was first pregnant with Ayla.
Finally I had an epiphany. I was not choosing my daughter & my life as it was. I was resisting everything that actually was because it didn't fit into the "perfect" life I had imagined. So to make a long story short (too late) my biggest piece of parenting advice would be to enjoy what is while it is, because life flys by far too fast. Also, there is no one way to be a good parent (perfect is an impossibility). What advice do you want to leave your kids with?
