Remember When.......

.........I said that it's OK if I don't let Kaia swim with the big kids? Well apparently I didn't really release my guilt over that one. This morning she saw me getting the swim bags ready. Then she very firmly stated, "I'm going swimming, because I'm not scared of the water. I'm NOT Mom!" While her tone of voice was self-assured her expression was heart-breakingly hopeful.

Cardio schmardio. Tonight I'll be swimming with my two year old and that's OK.

Micah's Birthday; Waaaay Past Bedtime

I'm not really sure why I was lying on the bed photographing the kids at 9:45 last evening.

Maybe it's because you only turn 9 once.

Even though we were all tired this morning I'm glad I stayed up to get this photo. It somehow just captures our life right now.

Perfectionism = Guilt

Yesterday we had some lovely company, but I have no photos to prove it. (guilt, guilt, guilt) We have a guest book, but I didn't get it out & require a signature. (guilt, guilt, guilt) However there is one particular conversation we had that has been circling around in my mind. It was the one about perfectionism and how it stops us. One way it stops me is here on my blog. I've had a blog idea in mind for quite a while. Since I haven't gotten around to making it more than an idea I've neglected my poor little blog. I've also neglected any readers I may still have. (guilt, guilt, guilt) I'm going to go out on a limb and do a different post. I'll attempt to let go of some perfectionism and banish some guilt!

- It's OK if most of the food I cook doesn't come from this cookbook. I do cook every night after all. That has to count for something.

- It's OK if I am occasionally impatient with my kids. I just need to stop making a habit of it.

- It's OK if I text and email certain friends and family more than I call them. I just want to pick up the phone once in a while. Preferably not while driving.

- It's OK if I spend more time cooking and cleaning than playing with Kaia. After all I'm teaching her how to keep a home and how to be independent. As if she needs help with the latter part!

- It's OK if I play a game with the kids instead of finishing laundry or making the kitchen spotless. After all the work will be waiting for me in the morning.

- It's OK that I'm still eating too much dairy and sugar. I've wanted to do a fast and cleanse for a long time. However I have a certain girls weekend away planned. I'm pretty sure we'll be eating dairy. And sugar. Probably. After that I will do it. Promise. Hold me to it.

- It's OK that I stick Kaia in kid care during the big kids' swim lessons. Sure she'd love to swim with me, but she also loves playing in kid care.

- It's OK that most of our garments are donated to Goodwill after a button falls off. Chances are I can find a replacement at the same place on $1.50 day. With all buttons intact!

- It's OK that I have a chocolate addiction. After all we only have dark chocolate in our pantry. It's health food isn't it? Just don't think I'll tell you how much I consume on an average day.

- It's OK that my kids only bathe once or twice a week in the winter. How dirty can they get inside all day long?

- It's OK that Ayla and I are still reading this book. If it's been renewed too many times all I have to do is return it & check it out again. I just can't say if I've done that more than once.

- It's OK that our Fall clean-up never got done outside. It's more fun to clean in the Spring anyway.

What makes YOU feel guilty? Tell me and I'll tell you why you don't need to feel bad about it.

The Drama Of First Grade (If You're A Girl)

Last night I managed to get my girls in to the bathtub and nicely washed, dried, brushed and clipped. During that time Ayla's mouth turned on and told me all sorts of interesting facts about life in first grade.

B***** has been really mean lately. She told E*** a secret and guess what it was?

What?

She told E*** that she's sick of me, but that's OK because E*** isn't sick of me. Guess what?

What?

B****** and M** are boyfriend and girlfriend now and that's really weird. He came up to her at lunchtime and asked if she would be his boyfriend. She said yes. It's so weird.....

Why is it weird?

Because she used to not like him, but now I guess she does like him. Love him I mean. Oh, and guess what else?

What?

At recess D**** tried to kill M*****.

At this point the story stopped, because Micah and I started laughing so hard. More than likely this is a location joke. You know, you had to be there. It's just the way she said it with such drama. It was mean to laugh. I might have been able to hold it in if I hadn't caught Micah's incredulous eye.

Ayla, what do you mean he tried to kill her? What on earth did he DO?

He was hurting her and I could tell he was trying to kill her.

As much as this tickled me last night (and still does to a certain extent). It gave me pause today. I started thinking about this particular boy and the picture I've been able to paint of him and his probable home life. The sad fact is that you never know when to take kids seriously anymore when it comes to certain talk and play. When Micah was in kindergarten a boy in his class got sent home from school for bringing used shotgun shells to school. Sigh. I don't really know the purpose of this post. I guess I just want to say that I'm glad today is the last day before Spring break. I am looking forward to us having our kids to our selves for nine days in a row.